Can Smiling Be Depressive and Suicidal?
By Caroline Kahiu
We all know about the positive aspects of smiling- the feelings of joy and pleasure but have you heard about smiling depression? It is not an oxymoron and does not make sense but is real. Smiling and depression have more in common than we could think of. Depression is usually associated with sadness, despair, hopelessness, and lethargy. Here is the thing- you can be happy, ‘put together’, functional, accomplished, full of life, and depressed.
First things first, smiling depression is not an official clinical diagnosis and you will not find it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Research shows that it is diagnosed as atypical depression. Simply put, you may feel temporarily better when good things happen, you constantly seek out experiences to lift your mood and avoid depressing symptoms. It is a real condition used to describe someone who is depressed but looks and acts happy.
The biggest tragedy is that individuals experiencing it hide behind a smile to persuade others they are happy. Consequently, this type of depression often goes undetected because the person functions normally but hides an inner gnawing of depression. So why the facial mask and façade? No one wants to feel like they are a burden to those around them and experience the shame, stigma, and embarrassment of mental illness. Others hide their symptoms if they are in denial and also want to keep up appearances to gain control over themselves and situations.
Very often, smiling depression is common among people who are perfectionists, people who take on substantial responsibilities, and people who are held to high ideals and may fear failing. These fears cause them to smile away from the depression making it difficult to decipher their inner struggles. The truth of the matter is that they experience distressing symptoms such as anxiety, loss of appetite, panic attacks, sadness, and intrusive thoughts.
On the flip side, we are at times driven by situations to ‘fake it till we make it’ but for how long? Sometimes it just does not work and it actually takes more than acting happy to actually be happy. This can be driven by having impractical hopes of ourselves being well or tougher. Admittedly, this can result in faking and hiding our feelings but inside feeling like a fraud, worsening the situation.
Sadly, those suffering from smiling depression can often be at risk of suicide. We all know that one person that committed suicide and he/she was the least expected person. Our responses- outpour of shock and devastation with sentiments such as he/she was always full of life, never sad, and was not the suicidal type. Curious, is there a suicidal type? There is no single answer to this. We are all candidates for depression regardless of age, gender, race, or economic status, but there are signs and symptoms to watch out for. Naturally, those with severe depression have no energy to plan and follow on suicidal thoughts. In contrast, those with smiling depression have the energy to act on their thoughts and feelings. This is why smiling depression can be more dangerous than severe depression.
If you suspect a loved one or friend is suffering from smiling depression, share your concerns with them. They may deny it and take it negatively because the word depression sounds too heavy. This is normal because most of us view it as a condition for the severely disturbed. Create a safe space for them to discuss their concerns and show them they are not a burden at all. This is the first step toward healing coupled with therapy and medication where appropriate.
Typically, there is nothing to smile about depression but the good news is that there is help available. Practice self-compassion when not at your best and do not beat yourself up. With each step, a day at a time, we build self-compassion and resilience ultimately realizing that it is okay to stop hiding behind fake smiles and step into our authentic selves.